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3 Deep Breaths to Address Disorder

“In all chaos, there is a cosmos, in all disorder a secret order.”

-Carl Jung

“Waiting to exhale” is a phrase many are familiar with, if not from the movie of the same name, just the experience of life as lived.  Stressful events in our lives and the world can cause a virtual breathing disorder.

Big changes in our world or our own lives (e.g., career shift, relationship changes, “midlife crisis”, etc.) can have us almost holding our breath. Such feelings of personal or planetary chaos may attempt to deflect our attention and hope from what Thoreau calls our individual versions of “the direction of your dreams…the life you’ve imagined.”

Though any change is always, at first, discombobulating, in The Back Forty we offer that any “crisis” can also be seen as an opportunity.

Yet, while in the midst of the crisis-come-opportunity, we do need to stabilize and get grounded. In that process of getting back to basics, the most basic of basics is to remember to breathe…into the apparent disorder.

We don’t often regard the practice of breathing – whether it be literally, or figuratively (e.g., stepping away from everything to gain perspective) – as a first-blush consideration in living life. Yet, too often that invisible or unappreciated practice becomes highly regarded after a scare of one type or another.

I recently wrote about the opportunity to invent reasons to stop ourselves and breathe before something else stops us (health scare, relationship upheaval, financial sideswipe, etc.).

If we subscribe to The Back Forty belief that each of us has yet to do what we came here to do, then that means we want to take the long view…because we’re ideally going to be around for a very long time.

So, whatever it takes to focus on breathing – literally and figuratively – into whatever disorder we stir up in our purposeful pursuit of a second half of play, passion and purpose is worth every last minute it gives us…because it may be that last minute of this life when we accomplish what we came here to do.

Here’s some thoughts to help you take a breather from world or personal events, and be inspired (latin inspīrāre, to breathe upon or into ):

“True stability results when presumed order and presumed disorder are balanced. A truly stable system expects the unexpected, is prepared to be disrupted, waits to be transformed.”

-Tom Robbins

“One way to break up any kind of tension is good deep breathing.”

-Byron Nelson

“Smiling is very important. If we are not able to smile, then the world will not have peace. It is not by going out for a demonstration against nuclear missiles that we can bring about peace. It is with our capacity of smiling, breathing, and being peace that we can make peace.”

-Thich Nhat Hanh

“Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing again.”

-L. Frank Baum

“I wake up every day and I think, ‘I’m breathing! It’s a good day.'”

-Eve Ensler

“I’m convinced of this: Good done anywhere is good done everywhere. For a change, start by speaking to people rather than walking by them like they’re stones that don’t matter. As long as you’re breathing, it’s never too late to do some good.”

-Maya Angelou

“The only reason I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.”

-Erma Bombeck

And here’s a few deep breaths to keep in mind as disorder may, for the moment, continue to wave its frazzled, fearful head:

Breathe

You can’t help anyone in any worthwhile way unless you have applied your own oxygen mask first.

First and foremost, be sure you’re getting the rest, nutrition and mental relaxation necessary to keep coming at your work, your life, your world with the highest functioning of your full faculties.

There’s a phrase that says, when things get a bit crazy, HALT: never get to Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired.

Breathe

There are many phrases from many cultures which say the same basic truth: things will look different in the morning.

Realizing that, if we give ourselves the self-care to step back for a moment, a bit of rest and NOT thinking about the issue at hand can actually open up new perspectives from which can then be seen new actions to take.

Take a breather from the urgency of the moment. Step away from the machine.

Breathe

Actually realize the blessing of the fact that you are, right now, in this moment, breathing, with the health, and ability, and food in the fridge, and people who really do care all around you, and opportunities to contribute…all right now available in the present.

There is a next step. This is a life to be lived. There is something yet to unfold to have you be who you came to be and do what you came to do.  And you need to keep breathing to get there.

“There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.”

-Albert Einstein

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What Would You Do If Your Future Held INFINITE Growth Potential?

Today I bring you another quote from The Back Forty archives. Take a moment to read it and then meet me on the other side as I unfold the meaning it holds.

First and foremost, if you’re asking what the heck the “back forty” of the ranch is – check out my previous post on that topic by clicking here.

Great! Now that we have that out of the way, let’s look at the quote. It isn’t often that we think of our second half of life as being “uncultivated”, “full of possibility”, or holding “infinite growth potential”. After all, when we think of our second half of life we usually think of things like slowing down, predictability, and stability.

But, if you actually take the time to think about it, it is all of those things that we think it is not.

It is a new adventure waiting to unfold.

It is a chance to use all of your knowledge from your first half of life to create whatever you want for your future.

It is entirely in front of you.

In this way, your life IS uncultivated, full of possibility, and holding infinite growth potential. So take a moment to think about what adventure you want to work towards. After all, it’s all ahead of you!

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Conscious Whole, Piece by Piece

Are you in?  Yes, these are trained professionals, and yet DO try this at home!

What is a conscious organization?  I hear that question all the time.

Merriam-Webster defines “conscious” as “the quality or state of being aware especially of something within oneself.”

Therefore, one might extrapolate that same definition to a “conscious organization”, with “oneself” being the whole of the parts.

For ages philosophers have struggled to understand what consciousness really is.  Individual consciousness is a hefty enough subject, and when we start to look at organizational consciousness, eyes begin to glaze.

How do you wrap all of that individual consciousness into a bigger whole of consciousness? Well, that question circles back to the idea of consciousness itself being a non-localized phenomena, something expressed through yet bigger than the sum of its outlets.

As described by John Renesch “the Conscious Organization is one that is continually examining itself, committed to becoming as self-aware and responsible as it can at any given time in its life.”

For sure, organizational consciousness means different things to different people.  Yet, as we engage in the inquiry as to what it is, ideas and direction begin to form.

I recently had an opportunity to chat with Bryan Ungard from The Decurion Corp. Harvard Business Review published an article in 2014 (see it here) naming The Decurion Corporation a “deliberately developmental organization.”  

Bryan brought up what he believes is the pre-requisite of building a conscious organization.  In his view, it is making a deliberate choice to come from the mindset that there is no tradeoff in being a high performing organization producing high returns while also being an excellent place to work, committed to providing people a place to flourish.  

According to Bryan, flourishing includes several aspects.  

1. Wholeness – only one part of a human being or only one part of an organization cannot flourish, so Bryan looks at what it means to be whole as both a person and as an organization.  
2. Connection – nobody flourishes by themselves in isolation, so Bryan suggests looking at how we are related to other people, our authentic connections to others and the community.  
3. Growth and Development – flourishing doesn’t happen without both.

The Decurion Corporation is a rare organization where doing intense and deep personal work – that means work on the whole of the person, not just their job – is not only encouraged but required.  

We all have opinions on how the world works – based on our individual wisdom and life experiences.  And yet, those views and opinions are based on our perceptions, not “the truth.”  Letting go of the way we think the world works, old ways of being in how we interact with people, and old ways of taking action to produce results can be very challenging…and there’s no way of knowing that you will succeed.  And yet, that is the only path to real growth.

At the Decurion Corporation, daily activities of getting work done are used as a “training ground” to create consciousness.  The idea is to have the entire organization operate on the foundation of mindfulness, consciousness and being present, and thus to enable the individuals in the workplace to do the same.

What if we take that one piece of advice and make it inherent in how we lead?  My bet is that this alone is sure to set us on the course to produce some truly amazing results, and thereby building truly amazing – and conscious – organizations.

Who’s in?

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4 Pointers to Help Dig Relaxspiration

“Tension is who you think you should be. Relaxation is who you are.”

-Chinese Proverb

The tendency is to do, and do, and do…and keep doing until done.

Our cultural work ethic values pressing forward and figuring it out, whatever it takes.

There’s a lot to be said for pressing forward, yet especially with an easy touch.

When the chips are down, we often go head down, nose to the grindstone and get so tight that we only breathe in.

We forget that tight means no openings for entry…for new ideas, innovative approaches and, God forbid, playfulness.

Literally, I can see myself having two completely contrary personalities at times. When in a relaxed state of playfulness and connection, I can attract play partners like the biggest magnet on the planet. Yet, when I’m tightly wound, trying to figure out through smarts or strategy the best ways to go, often the flow stops…as well as those wanting to be around me.

Winston Churchill, a man with the fate of the world on his shoulders, painted to open his mental creative faculties for battle.

Thomas Edison, one of the greatest inventors of all time, was an avid fisherman–with no bait because he wanted solitude and inspiration, not fish.

Researchers have discovered that people exhibiting relaxed playfulness appear to be better at coping with stress, can easily see things from new perspectives, and are more likely to report leading active lifestyles.

It’s in those moments where it really counts that our exhibiting such playfulness has its greatest impact. Yet, in those moments, a playful attitude just doesn’t make logical sense.

The gold is in the contrary action.

In our second half, we can become rigid in how we have forced things to happen in the past. As Monty Python says, “and now for something completely different”—becoming playful—can feel different, and yet far better for our long run of doing what we came here to do.

So, the next time the tight wad of forcing an outcome wraps you up, contrary action such as loosening your grip may save the color in your knuckles and even incite some chuckles.

Laughing and relaxing in the face of challenges and tribulations may be the smartest strategy to play.

Here’s a few pointers on how to dig on relaxspiration.

Distinguish

First, you have to get really good at noticing the tightness.

Start feeling your body when you’re doing what seems relaxing and easy and then compare it to times when you’re in the heat of forcing something to happen.

If you’re so tight most of the time that a piece of charcoal could turn to diamond in your presence, it will be hard to for you to see it yourself. Do a tightness survey with your friends. Find out how they’d rate you on a scale of 1 to 10 in terms of diamond mining.

Ignore

Notice the worldly weight of the moment, when everything seems to hinge on the answer, the path, the route to take absolutely needing to be on the table hours before.

When there’s no time to waste and every slight delay or challenge meets with irritability and a few choice expletives, just ignore the logic…and step away from the critical-importance machine.

It’s really not worth all that tension in your body.  Your health and well-being are of much greater long-term importance.

Give

Give it up! Don’t take yes for an answer. The answer at this moment is no: no to working harder, no to figuring it out, no to breaking necks and backs to force a result.

Don’t give up, but do give up the struggle. This isn’t the way to the peaceful, playful and purposeful person you choose to be.  Accept that you have the right to take a contrary action for the health and well-being of everyone.

Guffaw

Just laugh all over yourself. Find something to do that breaks the rigid, clenched jaw. Getting into the practice of laughing in the face of your moments of all-importance could be the best habit to bring into a Back Forty of contribution. And a good laugh is always a contribution to everyone.

“Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer.”

-William S. Burroughs

We re-did our first broadcast because the first version has poor sound quality since I was out of the office with low bandwidth. If you’re still intrigued, watch the original version below, you’ll be able to handle the sound quality!

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ui3VtQuh7dk]

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6 of the Best Ways to Fill Your Relationship with Happiness

As we grow older it sometimes gets easier to focus on our significant other’s faults instead of their virtues. Pet peeves slowly become intolerable and your relationship becomes more routine and boring.

Where did all that happiness go?

It’s not that the happiness is gone, but rather that you have stopped nurturing the happiness. When was the last time you did something special for your significant other just to show them how much they are loved? Chances are, all of us could do special things for those we love more often.

But what am I supposed to do? I hear you asking. Look no further because I have compiled my list of the top six ways to fill your relationship with happiness by showing your love.

1. Plan a Special Night (without you!)

This might sound counterproductive but let me explain.

Does your husband love watching a certain sport? Does you wife have a favorite TV show? Chances are, there is something on TV that you hate as much as your significant other loves. Well, I’m here to tell you that there is a way to turn these experiences into loving gestures.

Order your significant other’s favorite delivery food (Pizza? Chinese? Mexican?) and schedule to have it delivered right before your husband or wife’s show starts. About 30 minutes before their show begins, say that you are going to bed, or another room, or whatever you normally do to avoid watching this show. Once you leave, send your significant other a text telling them that their favorite food is on the way, to enjoy their show, and that you love them.

Tah-dah! Suddenly, avoiding something you hate has been turned into a romantic gesture.

2. Clean

Do you get home from work before your significant other? Maybe you wake up earlier than them? Go to bed after them? Chances are, you are “alone” at home at one point or another throughout the week.

Turn this into a chance to show your love. What part of the house gets messy the fastest? The kitchen? The living room? Pick a room, and clean it before your significant other gets home. Not only will they notice, chances are they will also appreciate it and feel the need to reciprocate at some point.

3. Turn an Obligation into a Surprise

This one is my favorite idea by far. Think about something that you request from your significant other on a regular basis. Do you ask them to stop at the store on their way home? Grab you something from the other room? Cook dinner? Walk the dog? Now’s the fun part, you get to turn that mundane obligation into an exciting surprise.

Ask them to do the obligation and then surprise them with a fun activity. Ask them to grab some cheese from the grocery store and then surprise them in the cheese isle with plans to go on a hike and have a picnic. Or ask them to grab your glasses from the other room and then have tickets to the movies or a museum next to your glasses. Ask them to cook some pasta for dinner and then have a giftcard or reservations for their favorite restaurant waiting for them next to the pasta.

It is entirely up to you on how simple or extravagent these surprises are. The important part is that you are turning something they don’t enjoy doing into a fun experience for both of you.

4. Plan a Date

This might seem like a relatively simple concept, but when was the last time you actively planned a date on your own? I’m not talking about deciding that you need a night away from the kids and planning something together or deciding that neither of you want to cook and going out for dinner. I’m talking about taking at least 30 minutes on your own to choose something to do together and booking the neccessary tickets/activities. Plan to take a weekend getaway, go to the zoo, or even just make a dinner reservation.

It’s not the extravagance of the date that is important. It’s that you took the time to plan to do something together because you enjoy spending time with your significant other. It’s a great way to say I love you, which brings me to my next point…

5. Say “I Love You”

Have you ever heard of the “magic ratio” discovered by psycholigist John Gottman? He says that there is actually a ratio of positive to negative comments in a relationship that can pretty much guarantee a stable relationship. What is this ratio?

5:1.

For every negative comment you make to your significant other, you should make five positive comments. So think about it, what is your current ratio? How often are you saying “I love you”? How often do you tell your significant other that you appreciate them? Now, how often are you complaining? The longer we are in a relationship, the easier it is to take the positives for granted and become more frustrated with the negatives. This can cause our ratios to get completely out of whack.

So what am I suggesting you do? Figure out what your current ratio currently is, and then work towards that 5:1 ratio. Start with just a week and see the difference that it makes in your daily interactions when you try to stick to the ratio. Chances are, you will both become happier.

6. Reverse Your Bad Habits (if only for a day)

Pet peeves. We all have them. And we all have pet peeves about our significant other. Maybe they leave the toilet seat up, or they leave their clothes all over the bedroom floor. Chances are, by this point you are thinking about your biggest pet peeves about your significant other. Well, stop!

Think about your significant other’s pet peeves about you instead. You know what they are. Now, actively try to stop all of those habits. Start with just a day and see how long you can make it last. I’m not saying that you change forever, but make an effort and your significant other will notice.

With all of these new ideas, I know you can actively bring happiness into your relationship. Because, after all, who doesn’t want to be happier? Your relationship is important and worth the time it will take to strengthen it. Even if your relationship is already stable and relatively happy – these six tips can bring even more happiness into your relationship.

Do you have any other examples of special things you do for your significant other to bring more happiness into your relationship? Tell me your favorites in the comments below!

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5 Inspirational People Who Prove Midlife Is Just the Beginning

I don’t know about you, but most Saturday mornings I need a little inspiration to get me going. After all, if you’re not careful, it is easy for the weekends to get away from you. So, today I am going to help inspire you to make the most out of not only your weekends but your life!

Here are 5 inspirational people who decided that they had yet to do what they were here to do in midlife and beyond (plus a bonus)!

1. Winifred Pristell

Winifred currently holds the World, National, and State records for single lift bench press for her age group and weight class. At the age of 47 she was dangerously obese and decided to make a change. By the age of 68 she had set world records for bench press (lifting 176.2 lbs) and deadlift (lifting 270 lbs). She is now a proud great-grandmother of 3 and healthier than she’s ever been.

2. Pierre Jean “Buster” Martin

Buster claimed to be the United Kingdom’s oldest employee. He worked for Pimlico Plumbers in London and even refused to take a day off on his 100th birthday! According to Buster, he was born in 1906 and continued working until he died at the age of 104 in 2011. If that isn’t a dedicated employee, I don’t know what is!

3. Fauja Singh

Fauja is the first 100-year-old to finish a marathon. He also accomplished eight world running records for being the oldest man to accomplish each record in ONE DAY. He is currently 105 years old and living in the UK. He ran between the ages of 89 and 101. Why so late in his life? A tragedy led him back to it. He witnessed the death of his fifth son in 1994 and decided to return to his passion for running. He began training and started running international marathons at the age of 89. At the age of 93 he completed the London Marathon 58 minutes faster than the previous world record. Eight full marathons after the age of 89? Pretty impressive if you ask me.

4. Dorthy Custer

Dorthy was a stand-up comedian starting in 1916. She thought she would never become famous until she got the chance to perform on the Tonight Show at the age of 100 in 2011! After that, she decided that she was never too old to achieve what she wanted to do. She performed on the Tonight Show again in 2012, for her 101st birthday she ziplined the Snake River Canyon, and for her 102nd birthday she base jumped off the Perrine Bridge into the Snake River Canyon and became the oldest base jumper in the world.

5. Werner Berger

Werner is the oldest person to climb the highest mountain on each of the seven continents. He climbed his first mountain on the list in 2002 at the age of 64 and completed the last mountain on the list in 2013 at the age of 76. How many people do you know who have climbed Mount Everest? Not to mention at the age of 69!

To learn more about Werner, see his Facebook Live interview with The Back Forty Co-Founder, Darrell Gurney, by clicking here!

BONUS: Tao Porchon-Lynch

Meet Tao. She is the world’s oldest yoga teacher at the age of 98! She is pretty amazing. So amazing, in fact, that I wrote an entire blog post about her a few months ago. Click here to find out what makes Tao so special!

Hopefully, that is enough inspiration for you today. After all, as we say in The Back Forty, “You have yet to do what you came here to do!” So, what is it that your second half of life has in store for you?

Sources: GuinnessWorldRecords.com, Wikipedia – Dorthy Custer, Wikipedia – Fauja Singh, Wikipedia – Buster Martin, HeraldNet.com, and WinifredPristell.com

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3 Steps to Inviting Radicality

“The days blur into one, and the backs of my eyes hum with the things I’ve never done.”

-Radical Face

The term “radical” can raise our antennae and suspicions. It carries the energy of dramatic shift, and implies extremes.

Yet, the idea of extremities is only the word’s secondary definition. The primary definition is about going to the root of something, a fundamental shift.

Radical Forgiveness, Radical Happiness, Radical Restarts…all imply a going deeper than the surface norm by getting to the core of the thing itself.

To impact the drift of life often requires a radical wake-up, because it’s just too easy to stick to the norm. You hear of folks who took on whole new ways of living after sudden health scares, near-death experiences, etc.

The question is: do we need to wait for such an external wake-up?

I like the idea of fomenting a crisis proactively, meaning self-inflicting the urgency for shift before the shift hits the fan.

What if you knew (or could make yourself believe) that your body was about to give out next week for lack of care? How would your diet, fitness and sleep program look this week?

Alexandra and I recently looked at the logic-of-the-moment vs the generally-accepted-wisdom around sleep.

In the moment, there simply seems to be no choice but to get less sleep so that “everything can get done.” Yet, there’s the joke itself: everything will NEVER get done! And, allowing that thought pattern to continue – with sleep taking the hit from overzealous engagement – means that bodily rest becomes the red-headed, disregarded stepchild.

The generally accepted wisdom today, touted by many inspirational leaders and health experts, is that 7 hours is the minimum of sleep we need…for a boatload of reasons. So, the facts are in, and it’s just the question of “in the moment” whether we can go against our skewed logic and trust the facts. Who knows how much more alert, acute and astute we may become with solid nights of sleep under our belts?

So, we’ve taken on a commitment to our second half/best half of life including what seems like illogical sleep habits because if, as we say in The Back Forty, “we have yet to do what we came here to do”, we need the healthy bodies required to house the spirits to do that!

There can be many areas in which to foment radical change:

What if you knew (or could make yourself believe) that this job you’ve been hating will definitely end in a month? How would your career change efforts look then?

What if you knew (or could make yourself believe) that something is brewing under the surface with your mate that will have him/her leave soon? How would your efforts to communicate alter immediately?

What if you knew (or could make yourself believe) that your croaking was imminent, definitely within the year? What bucket list items or purpose fulfillment would you take on right now?

Consider this an invitation to look into your own life and foment your own crisis. It’s a real opportunity to put yourself in the driver’s seat of The Back Forty kind of life you want to live.

Here’s a few easy steps you can take to create some radical change in your own life. Start with one thing, and then apply it to others after you’ve had success.

Identify

Identify an area you’ve been nattering about, something you say you want to change but it keeps on keeping on just as it is.

Is it your work? Is it a relationship issue (either inside of one or wanting one)? Is it that “thing” you keep saying you’ll do – write the book, devote time to that charity, schedule a vacation, take that course?

Whatever it is, just find the top, most juicy thing you’re very logically convinced can’t happen yet.

Die

Now, of course, I don’t mean to really kill yourself, but in your mind.

Consider that it’s all over now.  Whatever you considered so important and critical that you simply couldn’t do that “thing”…all those reasons are now gone.

You exited the planet.  Maybe you exited without having done that “thing”.  How does that feel?

Maybe you exited the planet BECAUSE you didn’t do that “thing”?  How does that feel?

Revive

Whoa! You just had a near-death experience! How radical was that?

Did you see light? Did you start through a tunnel? Did you hover over your body a while inside a peaceful state of ease and grace?

Well, whatever your experience, you’re back…back in this body, back in this life, and back with all of the same stuff and challenges and opportunities you left with.

What will you do about that “thing” now?

Consider that it’s time to get radical! Yes, you have all the time in the world…and yet not a moment to waste!

Frank Sinatra sings “The best is yet to come and, babe, won’t it be fine.” Let’s make Frankie right, ok?

“If you want to make any radical change in your life, then either give it a clear date and time or do it today. There is no someday.”

-Unknown

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Are You Ready to Look Fabulous Forever?

Today I want to share with you a company I found called Look Fabulous Forever. This company is all about “celebrating the beauty in older faces”. Their philosophy is that age is not a barrier to looking fabulous and, to prove that, they create makeup that is formulated specifically for mature faces.

Not only do they create makeup specifically for women in midlife and beyond, they also create wonderful makeup tutorials to help women who can no longer wear makeup in the way they used to. Check out the video below for an idea of what types of tutorials they create:

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JIChnFDSAOY&w=854&h=480]

Are you interested in learning more about Look Fabulous Forever’s makeup line? Explore their line and if you find anything you like you can get 20% off your first offer by clicking here and using the discount code FRIEND20!

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SUPER EARLY-BIRD Discount on an Upcoming INFUSE Program!

Join us for The Back Forty INFUSE Program May 5-7 in the Los Angeles/ Long Beach area. This 3-day midlife makeover will leave you renewed, inspired and ready to express your playful, passionate and purposeful second half of life.

You’ll Walk Away With:

• A radical new context in which to hold you
  r past and present, setting you up to win your future
• An innovative gifts, talents and values assessment, arming you at midlife with the powers you didn’t know you had
• Your personal FUSE, Formula of Unique Self Expression, to light up your next half/best half of life

In the Back Forty, we say that you have yet to do what you came here to do. Come get clear and on track to accomplish that!

INFUSE means Igniting a New Formula of Unique Self Expression.

From now until midnight PST, March 31, enjoy SUPER EARLY-BIRD tuition of $597 (because we’re still picking the location). The West LA or Long Beach location will be announced soon. This discount ends when our venue has been finalized after March 31…so grab the best tuition this program will ever have!

First 10 registrants get a FREE pre-program coaching session with Darrell & Alexandra!

Did you miss the SUPER Early-Bird sale? Don’t worry – you can still get our most recent discount by clicking here!

To get this Back Forty INFUSE SUPER EARLY-BIRD Tuition, click here. After you add the program to your cart, click “Apply Coupon” and type in the coupon code: SUPEREARLYBIRD. This will reduce your tuition to $597 before midnight March 31.

Hear What Recent Attendees Have to Say:
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=videoseries?list=PL4pk4wb-d-HZImZOBjHqiuXcV5KwAXlIn]

The Back Forty Story

The Back Forty INFUSE Program launched in May 2015, when Darrell & Alexandra first offered their new curriculum to a small, private, pilot group over two days. The reviews and testimonials afterwards were rousing.

Inspired by this response, Darrell and Alexandra then offered the program again in July 2016, expanding it by half a day to offer even more of what participants wanted and needed for this midlife makeover.

Now, Darrell and Alexandra have expanded the course to three full days, to offer the most radical restart to a life of play, passion and purpose to be found anywhere. The program will take place May 5-7, 2017, again in Los Angeles.

Be a part of this growing movement and community and give yourself The Gift of a Midlife Shift toward being who you came here to be and doing what you came to do.

Register before March 31 and get the same tuition as those in the 2015 pilot program! Where else can you get an entire midlife makeover for the price of 100 Lattes? And this is far better for your health!

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4 Elements in Your Plea for The Uncertainly

“Doubt is not a pleasant condition, but certainty is absurd.”

-Voltaire

The human condition hungers for certainty.

Yet, nothing new or creative was ever born from it.

It’s a constant dance, in the middle of “Certainly!” and The Uncertainly, “Of course!” and off course, where anything out of the ordinary appears.

Whatever changeup from the way life is currently and/or comfortably going, whatever crazy dream or aspiration your spirit just won’t let you forget, whatever outlandish step all the pointers of your world are directing you to take…none of these can start with certainty.

For example, our initial offering of The Back Forty INFUSE Program was over a two day weekend in 2015.  We had no certainty whatsoever as to how the content would be received, and were basically only putting on our first program as a pilot…to see if the message stood the chance of empowering people.

The response – and testimonials – were surprising, but we had only intentions going in…no certainty or even expectations.

Another example is our Back Forty Broadcasts, happening every Wednesday on our site live stream at 10:30am PST and on Facebook at 12pm. They started out with me in front of my computer sharing a tip or two, with no understanding of the technologies involved (YouTube Live, BeLive.tv) nor even any format.  We just began as an experiment.  It has evolved into an interview format, sharing ideas and great inspiration from leaders in the second half/best half of life mindset…and is both a helluva lot of fun for me as well as contributing to viewers.

No certainty going in, and even seeming certainty of unworkability many times in the midst of trying, but out the other side comes something valuable.

These are just our recent experiences in The Uncertainly.  What are yours?

It pays sometime to remember the FIRST time we tried a new thing, especially if that activity has now become old hat and second nature to us.  It wasn’t that way in the beginning.

Remembering these instances of The Uncertainly can support us to take risks even now, and now, and now, as we move into our greater yet to be.

The bigness of the game we want to play will determine how willing we are to reside in the not knowing.

Robert Burns said “There is no such uncertainty as a sure thing.”

That means, don’t wait for certainty…because it’s a mirage.  If you see it, run away.  If you don’t see it, run toward.

Where can you play bigly, even in the face of off-course-ness and The Uncertainly?

Here’s a few tips to support you to engage in and embrace The Uncertainly:

Pick

Pick an area where you have wanted to make a move, whether it be a dream you’ve wanted to pursue or simply a new habit you’ve wanted to incorporate.  Just pick something to use as your test case of embracing The Uncertainly because, if your success in whatever it is had already been assured, you’d likely already be pursuing it.

Lock

Lock yourself in to some new routine, schedule or commitment to devote time, energy or resources to whatever that thing is for you.

Is it signing up for a 3 month salsa class?  Is it devoting 2 hours per week to research some subject in the library?  Is it committing to send out 5 inquiries a week to ask for meetings with people doing something that you’d like to know more about, possibly a new career direction or hobby?

Whatever it is, lock yourself into engaging in that thing for at least 3 months, and get a buddy to hear your commitment.  Tell them that you want their support to keep pursuing this thing for AT LEAST 3 MONTHS and, if you waver, they are allowed to beat you up to get you back onto your game.

Endure

Whatever it takes, simply do what you said you’d do and keep to your schedule for those 3 months.

And, when the voices come up to say whatever they say that would take you away (and they WILL come up) – “This will never work”, “I look stupid doing this”, “I’m not cut out for this”, etc. – just let them fall upon deaf ears because you have committed to a schedule, and you gave your word.  Plus, your buddy will beat you up if you stop!

Assess

After your 3 month commitment to action and engagement on that thing ends, simply take a sober and loving evaluation of yourself and your interest and expansion into it.

Are you further along than when you started?  Is there any more certainty, facility, or understanding from which you can now operate?  Is it worth your committing yourself to yet another 3 months of experimentation to grow further in this thing?

Get your buddy to assist with this assessment because, if you’re like most people, you’ll discount your own growth and development.  You’re around yourself all the time, so it’s hard for you to see your own expansion.  But someone on the outside can see what you can’t.  A good buddy will beat you into submission to have you realize how much you’ve grown, even in the face of your cynicism.

Notice that you are making a PLEA for your own courage and support to live the life that you think about but usually talk yourself out of even starting.

Just start, move into The Uncertainly, and you’ll build a muscle for more and more certainty around your second half/best half of life to unfold.

Your radical, playful, passionate and purposeful Back Forty is here for you, in The Uncertainly!

“If a man will begin with certainties, he shall end in doubts; but if he will be content to begin with doubts he shall end in certainties.”

-Francis Bacon