Darrell Gurney
Author Archives: Darrell Gurney
Darrell Gurney
August 16, 2017 – TGIW JOLT Note
“Stopping at third adds no more to the score than striking out. It doesn’t matter how well you start if you fail to finish.” –Billy Sunday
We can all talk a big game.
Many of us can even start a big game.
Yet, it’s the finishing of a big game which can prove eye-of-the-needle-ish.
Finishing touches can be tough to apply as every good reason and subconscious force comes to play on the defense’s team.
The fear of success. The fear of failure. The fear of being way outside one’s comfort zone that comes with anything of true impact or consequence for us or the world.
All of these suit up and show up to form a seemingly impenetrable line…
which we must cross.
Benjamin Franklin said “Well done is better than well said.” Perhaps in-any-condition done is more forgiving because perfectionism is just one more lineman. At least, if done, we’ve played. Now, we can reflect, learn, and get out and play again.
What ideas, initiatives, inspirations, projects or plans require your line-piercing completion?
Got finishing tough?
“A good inclination is but the first rude draught of virtue, but the finishing strokes are from the will.” –Robert South
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August 9, 2017 – TGIW JOLT Note
“Appearance is something absolute, but reality is not that way – everything is interdependent, not absolute. So that view is very helpful to maintain a peace of mind.” –Dalai Lama
In the 3 1/2 years of this weekly JOLT note, I’ve not had a Wednesday birthday. I actually like the term “appearance” day, as it’s when I showed up on the planet. 
So, for my birthday, in appreciation for your receptivity to my weekly inspirations (and the notes of appreciation you often send back), I’m giving you an appearance opportunity.
“Appearance” is a word that can carry many meanings.
There’s our outward physicality. Also, there’s our showing up…as either who we “are”, or who we choose to be. And then there’s the deceptions of the way things look vs. the way they really are.
If you personally have an “appearance” showing up that you don’t like, such as…
- you just got laid off
- you just lost a relationship
- you feel stuck in a rut of immobility
- your finances ain’t what they used to be
- you’re experiencing anything that has you feeling a victim to circumstances
Then I want you to know you have an opportunity to alter the appearances by the focus you take. The real “you” is bigger than any of it.
What if you could find, in the midst of all of it, 20 blessings?
What if, somehow, in some way, this unwanted “appearance” could be seen as the best thing that ever happened to you?
What if the way “it really is” is an opportunity for you to expand to the next level, personally, professionally, mentally, emotionally and spiritually?
Believe me, I’ve been there and, like all of us, enjoy the ongoing “growth opportunities” that life offers.
I’ve found a way, however, to answer those “What ifs” with a “Yes, I get it!”
And, for my birthday, I’d like to offer you a low-bar opportunity to get it too.
So, short and sweet, can I give you a $20 bill as an ethical bribe for your finding your own 20 blessings in the midst of whatever you’re personally facing?
See below to take advantage of my appearance day offer in the next 48 hours…and please, whatever you do, enjoy this appearance day as one of your best.
Got appearance day?
“Attitude is more important than the past, than education, than money, than circumstances, than what people do or say. It is more important than appearance, giftedness, or skill.” –Charles R. Swindoll
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August 2, 2017 – TGIW JOLT Note
“Progress is impossible without change, and those who cannot change their minds cannot change anything.” ―George Bernard Shaw
In the soup of our daily lives, when the detail can fill up most of our waking consciousness and the challenges and next steps can rise like walls, it’s important to stop, look back, and realize how far we’ve come.
No, we may not be “there” yet, and we may have been through or currently be in the midst of seeming difficulty, and yet we can choose to see it all as progress.
Even if it’s the final time we’re hitting our head against a wall, that’s advancement… because it’s the final time and everything is earned and deserved growth from here!
The sister Schools of Life and Hard Knocks have easy admission standards but only minimal seasoned graduates. Those who view the schooling as progress rise to the top of the class.
In what ways and areas can you look back today to be empowered by how far you’ve come?
Seriously! Just look at where and how you were 3 years ago! Sheesh!!!!
Got progresso?
“Without continual growth and progress, such words as improvement, achievement and success have no meaning.” –Benjamin Franklin
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July 26, 2017 – TGIW JOLT Note
“We must always change, renew, rejuvenate ourselves, otherwise we harden.” ―Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
Our life has a few grooves.
Some are new areas of fascination and exploration in which we’ve overcome fear and inertia so as to “get a new groove on”.
Some are the foundational structures that we’ve learned to count on and from which we express outwardly into the world. Home, family, career, friends, community, finances, spirituality, etc.
Some are simply ruts, carved deeply into the ground of what seems like the only path before us because it’s the only path we’ve known.
Thank God for regroovination! Available anytime and for anyone!
The only problems come when we don’t consciously choose it before it chooses us.
As we’ve learned from our own lives or watching others, the foundational structures can shift at any time.
As we’ve also learned from our own lives or watching others, the ruts just ain’t no fun.
Therefore, overcoming fear and inertia to regroovinate may be the smart, health-and-wellness, preventative measure to take.
What groovy areas of fascination and exploration are calling to you?
Got regroovination?
“You are never too old to set another goal or to dream a new dream.” –C.S. Lewis
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July 19, 2017 – TGIW JOLT Note
“The word ‘listen’ contains the same letters as the word ‘silent’.” ― Alfred Brendel
We’ve all heard and used the expression “It’s so loud, I can’t hear myself think!”
Yet, when we do sometime find a way to quiet the mind and ease the spirit, what is the thinking that we hear?
Is it default thinking, which may be more accurately defined as “thoughting”…where every old pattern of judgment, analysis, worry, concern, and slicing & dicing of people, places and things takes place?
The thoughts come and then land on us, without a whole lot of effort on our part.
Or, is it invented and creational, which stretches us outside the patterned bubble of our own current best thinking?
Certain individuals have found within themselves that internal, innovative guidance. Yet, more often than not, to think outside one’s own circle of best thinking requires inquiry from and engagement with the outside.
Thus, we have teachers, counselors, coaches, communities and courses to expand ourselves so as to, as the Queen of Hearts guided Alice in Wonderland, “believe six impossible things before breakfast.”
What are the life-, career-, relationship-, future- or purpose-related impossible things you could believe before breakfast today?
Got creative hearthink?
“Every time you state what you want or believe, you’re the first to hear. It’s a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don’t put a celing on yourself.” –Oprah Winfrey
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July 12, 2017 – TGIW JOLT Note
“I like situations that force me to rethink things.” –Marc Almond
July begins the second half of 2017.
What were the goals you had in place from all those plans and resolves made last December? What was this going to be THE year for?
Most new years “resolutions” disappear before the first week of January. Yet, some of us have been at it, moving our intentions forward, learning as we grow, overcoming challenges, and both experiencing the thrill of victory and the agony of (temporary) defeat.
July 4th is a great marker dividing each year to remind us of the idea of independence from our past, what’s now possible, and the opportunity to invent what’s ahead.
So, as we move into 2017 Take 2, what goals, intentions and dreams can you rethink vs. retreat from?
If the first half of this year was only R & D, research & development, for the fulfillment your Big 2017 Game, what’s possible now?
Got R & D rethink?
“Success today requires the agility and drive to constantly rethink, reinvigorate, react, and reinvent.” –Bill Gates
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July 5, 2017, TGIW: Independence…and August Queen Mary INFUSE
“What then is freedom? The power to live as one wishes.” –Marcus Tullius Cicero
As we move on from our celebrations, a few last varying words on independence.
Enjoy your freedoms to produce more holidays ahead.”The greatest gifts you can give your children are the roots of responsibility and the wings of independence.”Denis Waitley
“I wanted to be an independent woman, a woman who could pay for her bills, a woman who could run her own life – and I became that woman.” Diane von Furstenberg?
Diversity: the art of thinking independently together.” Malcolm Forbes
“Unlike a drop of water which loses its identity when it joins the ocean, man does not lose his being in the society in which he lives. Man’s life is independent. He is born not for the development of the society alone, but for the development of his self.” B. R. Ambedkar?
“I am no bird; and no net ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will.” Charlotte Bronte
“Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker. Expose your ideas to the danger of controversy. Speak your mind and fear less the label of ‘crackpot’ than the stigma of conformity.” Thomas J. Watson?
“The man who is aware of himself is henceforward independent; and he is never bored, and life is only too short, and he is steeped through and through with a profound yet temperate happiness.” Virginia Woolf?
Got independence?“Every human has four endowments – self awareness, conscience, independent will and creative imagination. These give us the ultimate human freedom… The power to choose, to respond, to change.” –Stephen Covey
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Your Beliefs Are Actually Preventing Your Success
Yikes!
Our beliefs are things that we often hold dear. They are things that we have seen hold true throughout our life. Our various experiences have shown us that these beliefs are true. But, what if these beliefs were actually holding us back? Let’s take a moment to read this quote and then continue on the other side.
Maybe there is something to this quote.
After all, how many times have we heard stories of people being held back by their personal “backward” beliefs. It is easy to see the logic when we think of this quote in terms of other people, especially when our personal beliefs are the opposite of theirs. But what about our own backward beliefs? Logically, we know we have them. It’s impossible for everything that we believe to be true to ACTUALLY be true. Especially when many of our beliefs are shaped by one single experience.
Here is an example. You start a new job and on your very first day, someone who reports to you is three hours late and has completely missed not only your department meeting but a one-on-one meeting you set up with them. Chances are, you already have a negative opinion of this person and will have a negative opinion of them from here on out. But what if this employee is actually extremely punctual and it just happens that your first day was also the first time they were late in over five years? The sad fact, to your brain that doesn’t matter. Chances are that if someone asks you 6 months later about this employee’s punctuality you would still say that they are “usually” on time and immediately think of that one time that they were three hours late, even if they still have only missed that one day in almost six years.
When we think about it in this context, it is suddenly so easy to see just how many of our beliefs could be wrong. And, once we realize that, this quote holds an entirely new meaning. Let’s look at it again:
“We are bound by nothing except belief.”
– Ernest Holmes
…yup. Suddenly this seems to make so much sense. Think of all of the experiences that we have chosen not to pursue simply because of our beliefs. Each and every experience we have, no matter how big or small, is colored by as many as 30 separate beliefs that we have decided are true.
What would be possible if those beliefs weren’t factors? Our lives would be completely different. I’m not saying that some (or even most) of our beliefs are unfounded. Chances are that we have most of our beliefs for a very good reason. But what about those others? What beliefs to you hold true that may actually be false?
Today I challenge you to take a look at some of your beliefs that you are convinced are true from an outside point of view. Are there any beliefs you can let go? If you let these beliefs go you might just be surprised at how free you have become.
This is What “Freedom” Means to The Back Forty
Freedom.
It’s a pretty powerful word. This word has inspired countless men and women to lay down their lives for what they believe in. This world is what our country has been built on. And it is because this word is so powerful that we are devoting this post to what freedom means to us.
Many people would argue that we have to give up some of our freedom as we grow older. We have more responsibilities now. We have a job where people count on us, we have a family to support, we have retirement to save for. There are so many things that we have to do, so it just makes sense that we have to give up some of our freedom.
Well, those of us at The Back Forty have a problem with that belief system. Why do we have to give up our freedom as we grow older? If anything, we should be gaining more freedom as we age, not the other way around.
We believe that midlife freedom means moving out of our comfort zone.
Whether you are on a quest to Find Your Bliss or just trying to Become Comfortable in Your Own Skin, you must be willing to move out of your comfort zone.
We believe that midlife freedom means letting go of our past.
It is easy to let our past define who we are today but we believe that you can Stop Investing In Your Viewpoints and Ditch Your Past Struggles to create a better (and freer) future for yourself!
We believe that midlife freedom means being willing to play.
Whether you need a reminder that your Midlife Crisis is Just a Game or if you have decided that you need a Fresh Start, we believe that you have to remember how to play along the way.
We believe that midlife freedom means finding our purpose.
Regardless of if you currently feel like you’re Failing Your Midlife Experience or if you just haven’t taken the time to Consider Your Purpose recently, we believe that your personal freedom has a lot to do with that purpose.
We believe that midlife freedom means believing in our future.
Wherever you are on your midlife journey you have to believe in your future. Whether you still feel that you need to Free Yourself From Your Past or if you need a reminder that You Are In Control, believing in your future is the first step toward freedom.
There are so many things that we believe freedom means but, however you define freedom, we hope that you CELEBRATE YOUR FREEDOM today!
3 Proven Ways to (Re)Start Your Fitness Journey
There are days that I wish I was still a teenager and could eat whatever I wanted without gaining a pound. Sadly, those days are gone for us and in order to stay fit and healthy, we need to make an effort.
Regardless of how many times you have restarted your fitness journey, I have three proven ways to push you in the right direction. These are the three things that have helped me stay on track since I restarted my personal fitness journey this past winter. How’s it working you ask? Well, I’ve managed to lose 20 pounds. I’m not saying it hasn’t been hard or that I haven’t had my fair share of setbacks, but these three things I’m about to share with you have made the difference between recommitting to my goals or giving up when I hit those setbacks.
1. Group Classes
Signing up for group fitness classes is the single most helpful thing I have done for myself on my fitness journey. Having different classes scheduled throughout my week makes it possible for me to build my workouts into my schedule and gives me that healthy sense of guilt when I skip a class. I personally schedule 4 different classes a week to target all of my different muscle groups. Even if these classes are the only time you go to the gym, you are still getting to the gym 4 days a week.
2. Accountability Buddy
I admit that sometimes the guilt of not attending a class isn’t enough to get me out of the house. This is where my accountability buddy (or in my case, my husband) comes in. When I started my fitness journey I told my husband to only let me skip the gym once a week. That means going to the gym six days a week. At first, it wasn’t hard to get me out of the house and to the gym, but as it got harder and harder to lose those pounds, my enthusiasm waned. That’s the importance of having someone to hold you accountable. Sometimes my husband has to drag me out of the house kicking and screaming, but I still get to the gym. When you are about to give up on yourself your accountability buddy can help you refocus on what’s important.
3. Diet
Unfortunately, our diets also have to be a factor in our fitness journey. Eating healthy or, at extreme least, not overeating is an important piece of making sure we meet our goals. This is where I’m going to introduce you to the piece of technology that has helped me stay on track. Lose It! is an app that helps you with every aspect of your fitness journey, but especially when it comes to your diet. When you sign up you fill out your age, gender, weight, and fitness goals. Then the app creates a special program for you. You can log your food by just scanning barcodes or adding things manually. Plus, you get badges when you hit different milestones like losing weight, logging regularly, or exercising regularly.
These three things are the only things that keep me on track some days. However, your own fitness journey might require other systems of accountability. Wherever you are on your journey, I wish you luck as you move forward and remind you to never give up!
