Expert Tip #8: Become Curious Again
Curiosity is something that has a general air of positivity surrounding it. Curiosity causes invention, creativity, creation, excitement, and more. So, it is no wonder that a wonderful way to help you win your midlife experience would be through being curious.
However, as we grow older we adapt a mindset that we know enough, that we are enough. After all, have you ever heard yourself or a loved one say things like, “that’s just the way I am,” “been there, done that,” or even “you can’t teach an old dog new tricks”?
As we age we seem to adopt the viewpoint that we no longer need to be curious, that curiosity is for the young. Here is the problem with that way of thinking. Everyone has had certain life experiences that shape who they become. There are some things that you hate simply because you have had bad experiences surrounding it before. Similarly, there are things that you love for the same reason. The problem with this is that each experience, either good or bad, puts on a new filter through which you see life. As more and more experiences create more and more filters, your view gets smaller and hazier.
The world is full of infinite possibilities, but if you are determined to see the world through your many many filters, you will miss so many of the possibilities that come your way.
You might be thinking, but all of these filters are different pieces of wisdom that I have gained throughout life. Isn’t wisdom a good thing?
Well, here is the problem with wisdom. Based on the small pieces of wisdom that we gain, we decide what we are capable of. These one-time experiences turn into pieces of “wisdom” that we have gleaned from our lives.
For example, at a relatively young age I cut my hair “short” it was to my shoulders and the first time my hair had ever been that short. In that moment I decided that I don’t look good with short hair and that I now had the wisdom to never cut my hair that short again. Is that really wisdom or is it just one bad experience that has shaped my entire life?
Maybe I would love short hair if I tried it again, but my previous filter has closed me to that new experience.
What are some of your experiences that you have always assumed gave you wisdom but might actually be limiting you? Maybe it’s something that you have always assumed is how you are, how life is, how relationships are. What can you be curious about this week?
Come back next week for Pro Tip #9 and remember to be curious this week!
See other tips here!
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Our 100th Blog Post!
The Back Forty has officially posted 100 blog posts!
To celebrate this occasion, here are our top ten performing posts of all time (as well as a few rising stars)! Check them out and pick your favorite.
- The Gift Inside My Fear
- I Am In Love with My Wrinkles
- Expert Tip #5: See Midlife Crises as opportunities
- The Real 12 Days of Christmas (Plus a Strange Family Tradition)
- Free Yourself from Your Past and Fulfill Your Future
- An Interview with Alexandra Levin
- 5 Myths about Sex During Midlife
- No More Little Miss “Good Girl”
- The Difference between Men and Women in Midlife
- This Midlife Crisis is Just a Game: Want to Play?
And here are our top 3 rising stars in the past two weeks:
- Going Gray? Here’s How To Do It With Style!
- Get Ready NOW to Fulfill on Your New Year Resolutions
- Expert Tip #6: Consider Your Purpose
We hope you enjoy these top posts of the past and we look forward to bringing you much more content in the future!
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Going Gray? Here’s How To Do It With Style!
“Going Gray” has been associated with getting old for what seems like forever. It’s a part of the aging process that people try to hide from the rest of the world. At first, people pluck those first few gray hairs that dare to arrive and then they start to dye their hair so no one will find out that they are officially old.
Now, if you actually take a moment to think that scenario through, it’s completely ridiculous. There are so many factors that effect when you “go gray”. Some people are completely gray by the age of 30, others don’t get gray hair until their 50s. Does that mean the people who have naturally gray hair at the age of 32 are old? I don’t think so. Honestly, I wouldn’t consider the people going gray at 52 to be “old” either. I would argue that gray hair has nothing to do with being old and, because of this, I want to share with you the top 5 ways to have gorgeous gray hair.
1. Use the Right Shampoo(s)
Gray hair brings brand new concerns to the forefront when it comes to choosing the right shampoo. White strands of hair are far more susceptible to the colors of the products you use. Because of this, you should avoid using blue shampoo too regularly. Using blue-hued shampoos regularly can cause your hair to pick up a bluish tint. Why use blue (or violet) shampoo at all? Gray hair can pick up a yellow hue just from exposure to the elements. To counteract this, you can use a shampoo with a blue/violet tone (which counteracts the yellow) a few times a month.
All of this being said, you have to experiment and find the best shampoo for you. Some people just need one shampoo while others need to use two or three different shampoos throughout each month. Don’t worry though, below are a few of the best shampoos for gray hair to get you on the right track!
- Try using a blue-hued (or violet-hued) shampoo once or twice a month to counteract the yellow hue and brassiness that gray hair is often plagued by. Don’t use it regularly unless you want your hair to start looking blue or purple! Looking for some specific options? Try one of these four brands:
- Just like UV light can harm your skin (sunscreen!), UV light can also harm gray hair. Your new hair pigment is much lighter and, therefore, much more susceptible to UV and environmental damage. This is what causes gray hair to start looking dull. If you are out in the sun a lot and notice your hair losing its shine, try using a color protection shampoo. Looking for somewhere to start? Check out the following option:
- Now, these are great options for when you are experiencing common problems associated with gray hair, but what about shampoo to use regularly? No worries, we’ve got that covered too! Try out one of the below options to see which daily shampoo works best for you:
2. Condition, Condition, Condition!
This is where my above point about gray hair looking dull with exposure to the outside world really comes into play. How do you prevent your hair from looking dull – you get a great conditioner! Look below to see some of my top picks:
- Giovanni Colorflage Perfectly Platinum Color Defense Conditioner
- Pantene Pro-V Silver Expressions Conditioner
- Clairol Professional Shimmer Lights Conditioner
- Biosilk Silver Lights Conditioner
3. Pick the Best Cut
Which haircut would you consider “old”?
Do you have a go-to hair stylist? If not, it’s time to find one. Choosing the right haircut makes all the difference. After all, just look at these two women on the right. There is one who clearly looks older than the other, right? When it comes to picking the right hairstyle, keep the following tips in mind:
- Consult your stylist to decide which haircut best flatters your face.
- Pick a modern cut with clean edges.
- Don’t let your stylist use a razor on the ends because it can cause your ends to fray and look a bit ragged.
- Schedule a trim every 6 to 8 weeks to keep your hair looking clean and fresh.
4. Protect Your Hair
Like I’ve mentioned before, the biggest threat to your hair is the elements. The simplest option is to try to wear hats when you are out in the sun for a long time. However, there are other options as well. Using platinum or silver color defense shampoo and conditioner with antioxidants can help protect your hair from the elements. There are even sunscreens specially made for your hair! Check out the top hair sunscreen options below:
- Aveda Sun Care Protective Hair Veil
- Phyto Plage Protective Sun Veil
- Wella Professionals Sun Protection Spray
5. Update Your Wardrobe (& Makeup)
Your entire life you have worn certain “flattering” colors, but now that your hair is a different color, the colors that compliment you best have also changed. Follow these tips for picking the most flattering outfits and makeup:
- Try wearing more clothes that are gray and blue, they often compliment your hair well and cause a striking beauty effect (although your eye color might cause these colors to be more or less flattering).
- Take the chance to be bold in your style. High fashion looks wonderful on people with gray hair.
- Brighten up your wardrobe. Think of your new hair as a blank canvas no more do you have to worry, “will that look good with my hair?”
- Deep colors often make you look refined and regal. Try deep reds, blues, purples, and grays.
- On the other hand, earth tones often make you look washed out.
- With your hair taking on a cooler tone, it is time to warm up your makeup.
- Try a peach blush to warm up your face in a few seconds.
- If your eyebrows seem to be disappearing, define your arches with a taupe pencil to make them stand out a bit more.
- Don’t forget to groom your eyebrows as well, trim hairs that are getting out of hand.
Need some more makeup tips? Check out this video from Sixty and Me:
[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dei9jbtgOxQ]
Regardless of which of these suggestions you find work best for you, embrace your new look and I promise, you will look phenomenal!
Sources: Prevention.com, VibrantNation.com, TheGuardian.com, LoveTheGray.com, AHairGuide.com, SixtyAndMe.com, StyleCaster.com
Expert Tip #7: Consider a Presence
Today I want to talk about presence, and I want to talk about it in two different contexts.
First, there is the presence that is who we are. We each have our own presence that comes from owning our own life and future. It is the part of us that causes others to realize just how empowered we are. It is what makes people look your way when you’re in your element.
Second, there is a Presence that is greater than us. It doesn’t matter how you choose to think about this Presence. Whether you believe in a God/Goddess or gods/goddesses, whether you believe in aliens or spirits or the Universe, or even a giant monkey that can grant wishes. It really doesn’t matter. The important thing is to realize, and to accept, that there is something in this existence that is bigger than you, bigger than anyone.
Why do I spend the time talking about these two types of presences?
I talk about them because both aspects of presence are equally important. By awakening and exploring both aspects of presence we are able to build on our ability to tap into our full potential.
How to you relate to your own presence as well as to a greater Presence? Are you accepting or do you find yourself trying to hide your presence away and ignore it? Try to realize the power of your personal presence and understand that sometimes you have to let a bigger Presence come into play.
Come back next week for Pro Tip #8 and remember that you can win your midlife experience!
See other tips here!
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You’ve Always Controlled Your Life – Even if You Failed to be Aware of it!
As we start out this new year, I want to bring you an important message. It’s easy to see things in our past (especially life-changing things) as something that we didn’t really have control over. After all, when something is out of your control it can’t be your fault.
But today I want you to think about your past differently. Take a moment to read the following quote:
You have always had a say. Even though sometimes it seems that you had no control over a situation. When you think of your past as being created from all of your decisions instead of being created by things out of your control – life suddenly becomes easier to manage.
You had a say over your past. You have a say over your present. And, most importantly, you will have a say over your future!
Happy New Year from The Back Forty!
However you are celebrating this night, all of us here at The Back Forty want to wish you a happy new year!
Take a moment to enjoy these inspirational thoughts to start out your new year right:
Expert Tip #6: Consider Your Purpose
Purpose. It’s a word that seems to carry a lot of weight. When someone says their career gives them purpose or their family gives them purpose, it has a kind of awe-inspiring effect.
People with a purpose to strive towards are naturally propelled forward and makes it easier to see long-term goals.
People without purpose (or people who haven’t thought about their purpose in a while) tend to focus more on the short-term and ultimately have a smaller picture than those who are striving for something.
If you take some time to reflect on your first half of life it may be easier for your purpose in your second half of life to become more defined.
The next step is to accept your purpose, the only thing that can prevent you from living out a purposeful second half of life is letting yourself fear failure. When you are truly striving towards your purpose there is no possibility of failure, only progress and learning.
Come back next week for Pro Tip #7 and remember that purpose is key!
See other tips here!
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The Simple Reason to STOP Investing in Your Viewpoints
Today I want to share with you a concept that most people don’t take the time to realize, although, when you read it, you will know it is common sense.
Take a moment to read the below quote and I’ll meet you on the other side.
How many of you have gotten stuck in your viewpoints? I would assume that everyone has, at one point or another. After all, we’re human. It is part of our nature to get caught up in our own lives and assume that our views are the correct ones. But that’s not always the case, is it? For every aspect of our lives, there are different views of that aspect, and we are guaranteed to be wrong at least some of the time.
Which view can you try to see from a different perspective today? After all, like the quote says, “we may have a lot invested in them”. Investing in a flawed perspective can hurt you in the long run. With that in mind, I challenge you to think about a viewpoint that you hold dear that might not be right. Can you let go your preconceived notions about it? Can you try to see it from a different perspective? I think you can and that you might be shocked at what a simple change in perspective can achieve.
This Song Will Make You Smile About Midlife Crisis
I stumbled across this video this morning and it actually made me laugh out loud. Take a moment to enjoy it!
How many people do you know who seem to be going through a “midlife crisis”? Once we hit midlife the word “crisis” often seems to hang over our heads. Like the song says, we start to see people around us having a crisis, or maybe we find ourselves in the midst of one ourselves.
Regardless of where you fall in the above scenario, you fall into one of two categories:
1 – You are going (or have already gone) through your own midlife crisis
or
2 – You see others going through their crisis and find yourself wondering, “am I next?”
No matter if you are well aware of the ups and downs of a midlife crisis or if you are dreading what might be coming your way, I have the perfect article for you!
If you find yourself wondering why you haven’t had your crisis yet, click here to see why you’re not alone!
If you are in the midst of (or have already had) your midlife crisis, click here for a new perspective or click here to count your blessings!
Regardless of where you find yourself in midlife, remember that your crisis can be “twice as good as any big gut suckin’, sports car buyin’, self-deludin’, comb-over tryin’, skinny jean-wearin’, wrinkle denyin’, bucket listin’, grey hair dyin’, existential mid-life crisis!”
